What a day ! I heard so many things spoken of that I knew, and no one talked about before... and some things that I never knew, that makes totally sense in hind sight... you gota love truth spoken out :)
>>> Dann:
Dann Farrely spoke from 1 Corinthians 7. This must be one of the best preaches I have heard... just because he explained exactly what stood in the Bible. I can not repeat the teaching, because I will get things wrong... so I will do the worst thing, and just give the conclusions I got from the sermon...
* There is no 'perfect one' for you
* God does not decide your partner, you do.
* To marry or not to marry is TOTALLY your choice.
* Marrying because of desire is a legitimate reason.
* Not marrying for the sake of the kingdom is a legitimate reason.
* Sexuality is good, and God given, and righteous and holy.
* Sexuality is a state of being (male/femaleness), sex is an act.
* Jesus expressed Himself sexually in a healthy way (His man-ness)
* Sexuality and creativity is linked
* Sexuality can be expressed through warmth, tender friendship & touch towards people
* The feeling of sexual tension and the anointing can be mistaken
* A crush = collapse of boundaries.
What do you look for during dating?
* Men should ask themselves: Can I commit to sacrificially serving this person for the rest of her life?
* Girls should ask themselves: Can you choose to respect this man for the rest of his life?
>>> Jayson:
Then Jayson Vallotton spoke on dating relationships, and how to set boundaries. He also went into a lot of things concerning feelings. He defined the goal for dating not as intimacy, but rather trust. The way to build trust is to fully communicate everything (basically). Communicating where you are at, and how each person feels about things, and how open they are to a step closer in intimacy. Trust has to determine the level of intimacy in any relationship. Intimacy should not be used to strengthen a connection, but rather trust. Trust & communication precedes everything in a relationship. Risk is the responsibility of the man - and that is to be vulnerable to the girl, in taking a step closer.
The whole purpose of dating is to get to know if the person you are dating is the one you want to marry. Every dating relationship should start with both people being open to being married. If a man asks to go on a date, he is not asking you if you want to marry him. He want to get married, and you may be the person he want to marry... but he needs to get to know you, to see if you are.
Trust is the chief value in relationships, because if either decides that the other is not the person they want to marry, then there should still be mutual feelings of being cherished, loved, valued and honored.
The onus is on the man to control himself, and also lead the relationship, and protect the girl in the relationship. The girl also needs to protect herself in the relationship. She should only give as much vulnerability to the man according to the trust she fells for the man. Girls need to feel safe before they grow in vulnerability. Men creates a space of safety for a girl only through trust. Trust is something that you build, and takes time, and needs small increments of risk in order to grow.
The definition of love is commitment and choice - not the feeling.
The definitional of passion is feeling that comes through exploring intimacy with a person.
The goal is love, not passion.
Passion is feelings and emotion - and does not make for a good driver. [Dann said that emotions make your head into a bowl of soup]. Emotions should not drive or determine a relationship. They are part of a relationship, and need to be managed.
When you have very strong feelings for someone, then there is a high chance that there are some needs in your life that are not met, and that you need to get those fixed [the idea that marriage is not for you to have your needs met, but rather to give]
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Wow.. thats a lot of stuff... changed my mind... and gave me so much freedom :) Esp. knowing the choice is all mine to choose :)
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>>> Crazy occurrence:
Remember two blogs ago (Sun) that I said that a guy came up to me and gave me a prophecy on Matt 11:28 (taking His light burden and soft yoke) well... something weirder happened actually that night... here is the fuller story:
Friday night I was standing and worshiping, and a random guy came up to me and prayed over me. I heard him in plain English, and he was just generally praying for release of burdens, over my life, and taking on God's yoke. (basically Matt 11:28). After he prayed I thanked him for the 'good word', and then heard the same word spoken by Mark Brookes... so I turned to him again and said 'good word'.
So I met the random guy today... his name is Eli... (he is a real guy, and not an angel or something else) and when we talked, he said that he did not understand why I said 'good word' to him on Friday... So I told him about the same scripture that he gave me, was the one I got for a girl the previous day, and that Mark also gave the same scripture. This is why I said 'good word'.
Now the following really came to a surprise to me... and my brain is still trying to process it. This is the crazy part: His honest account of Friday night was as follows: He felt that God wanted him to pray over me, so he walked up to me, laid his hand on my shoulder, and started to pray in tongues. And then after a while of praying in tongues, he stopped, and sat down. So, basically he only prayed in tongues over me. umm... yes... he only prayed in tongues over me. - but i heard him pray in English over me... but he only heard himself pray in tongues over me..ok, that is weird...
So I asked him that that is impossible, because he basically prayed Matt 11:28 over me. And he said that he did not pray any verse, or anything in English over me at all... just in tongues, nothing more... and that is why he was confused about me telling him 'good word'... because he did not give me any word... and he did not eve recognize the scripture... so basically when Mark Brookes came up and gave the scripture - that was the first time he hear the scripture in a while...
Okay, so that has to mess with your head... one guy prays in tongues over me, and all I hear is someone praying over me in English. Weird. Yes. But good :) ha ha :)
=)
ReplyDeleteAgree with all of it. SO cool about the tongues.
One thing I would add, or like your opinion on. I think it is 100% your choice, I have believed that for a while, but also that the choice, like anything important, needs to be in submission to God. ie. waiting for a green light from God, or at least making sure He isnt saying 'no'(which He is faithful to do, as Ryan has said to me "the Holy Spirit's ability to speak to a surrendered heart is greater than your ability to be deceived"). Interesting story from a friend of mine who is now married. Got into a relationship with a girl and just went ahead, then God spoke to them both clearly one the night before the other, telling them to call it off. However later (I think like 2 years?) God intervened again and brought them back together. "Right person" wrong timing. So there seems to be a lot of room for people to have God direct them. Remember Gareth Lowe's testimony as well. Audible voice telling him it would be Tarryn. Thought?
Yes :)
ReplyDeleteWe had that talk today... that God is still involved, and He can say yes or no, but you still have the choice...
He also presents people to you, that you may choose... so... yes :)