8 Oct - Friday

Last day of school for the week... it came suddenly, but it was good.

This morning i was meditating in the prayer room, and thinking though why i was not connecting with God today... and i remember that i was thinking that God was on a mission, and stern toward me, and telling me to keep up with Him, else I would loose Him... and have to search for Him again...

well... after a while in the prayer room I realized that the picture I had of God was a untrue... I began to meditate on God's attributes, and realized that He ALWAYS loves me... and that is the primary thing that He does... He loves... me... and that loving Him is the primary thing that He want me to DO... love Him in return... form the love that He loves me with... He initiates love, and i respond with His love, by loving Him back...

And then I felt like God is never in a hurry... and this is huge... He never has a deadline that has to be fulfilled, else His plans goes haywire... no... He works all things for good... ALL things... for GOOD... for those who LOVE Him :) get it ? :) its good... and then I felt like He knows what He is doing, and that He is not stressed... He lives in eternity... and the fullness of Peace... and Rest... He has it all covered... and He KNOWS everything will work out fine... He is the one with the last say in every situation... in EVERY situation...

So basically God loves me, and He is not running off somewhere to do something the whole time like Gandalf or Dumbledore...someone that you never know where they are off to... someone always speaking in half sentences... God has all the time on earth to spend with you... not having to check His watch once... nor having to quickly talk to an angel to sort out some business... no... He gives you His undivided attention, for all eternity... without looking away from you for an instance... His eyes are fully towards you... set on you from your birth... all the days of your life... eyes of loving kindness and compassion and mercy... He loves you... with everything in Him... and that is huge also :)

anyway... then we had Kris from around 1pm to 4pm... that was good... and long... but he created breaks by just telling jokes... and then we prophesied over the person next to us... and I was teamed up with a lady form the UK... wow... she was powerful... she read my heart like a book... and then we had to get a word of knowledge... and she said that i was form a small quite town in the country... and that the town reflects how i carried myself... reserved and quiet... but that there was a side of me that longed to be expressed... wow... then i went up and shared it on stage... without shoes :) ha ha... felt no stage fright or anything... just confidence... stood there next to Kris... being all normal about it... well... it was normal... the atmosphere is just so accepting and free... it was good...

and then we had small groups... wow... i love the guys i am with... Toby is hectic :) and Howard is such a great guy... Espen is an IT engineer, so I understand him :) ha ha. Drew missed the small group, but I got to know him a bit at retreat, and he seems cool also :)

I'm looking forward to this... I would have liked that BSSM would be longer... because I just feel like i can just keep on growing and learning the whole time while i am here :) Hope to come back here in some time... it will be intense... that's all i know :) HA HA :)

well... all is good, coz God is Good :)